Musa - my secret wish, my heart's desire. . .
Maybe I should explain. . .feel free to grab a cup of tea or coffee - I promise to wait. . .
In July 2009 I adopted Sihle. That Christmas I went back to Canada (for the first time in nearly 3 years) with Sihle. For 6 weeks I delighted in family and friends, and the joy of introducing my very first child to life and love in Canada.
I left Pamela behind at TLC in South Africa, as she was not yet in my legal custody. As much as I enjoyed my Canadian time I also missed and worried about my little Pamela - was she doing ok without me? She was such a broken, sensitive soul, how was she coping?
But during my 6 week visit I also had another very strange thing begin to happen - for the first time in my life I became broody. I had many friends with little 6 week, and 4 month, and 6 month old babies, and deep in my heart I began to long for a baby. But every time I began to have these thoughts or feelings, I would push them down, send them packing - I mean here I was with an amazing little 2 year old daughter, and waiting for me in South Africa was my 3 year old Pamela. I didn't need a baby, what a crazy thought! So every time my heart would go there, I would banish the notion, and instead concentrate on my amazing daughter. I told NO ONE of my crazy heart thoughts, and was sure that in time they would disappear, and I would go on very happily with my two delightful, amazing daughters. After all - I was single. God had blessed me in abundance - 2 children was more than enough for me. . .
Lets fast-forward through my 6 week Canadian visit.
I arrived back in South Africa after travelling for nearly 40 hours, and went straight to TLC to see my Pamela. I couldn't get there quickly enough - Pamela saw me and bolted into my arms. She wrapped her arms tight around my neck and for the next 3 hours that's where she stayed. During those three hours I spent a bit of time in the nursery, saw how much all the babies had grown, and checked out the nest to see who the new arrivals were. There were a few little baby girls all around a month old, and a little boy named Samuel who was 7 weeks old. All so cute and little, I knew that in time I would get to know each and every one of the new little babies.
Later that day I talked to Pippa, from TLC and asked about Pamela and foster care. My social worker had mentioned that once I returned from Canada they would begin foster care placement for Pamela. Then when my 5 years of residency was up, I could apply to adopt her. (Adoption laws had changed in SA since Sihle's adoption had been finalized in July).
A few days later I walked into TLC, and Pippa saw me and came right over. She had this strange look on her face and told me to sit down. I chuckled and said "I'm fine, what's up?" Again she told me I should sit down, and once again I insisted I was fine, and for her to tell me what was up. She finally just said, "Shoshanna SIT DOWN!". At which point I finally did as she asked.
She then explained that she had phoned the social worker to ask about Pamela's foster care placement with me. But the social worker had asked, "well what about her brother?". Pippa said she was not aware Pamela had a brother, to which the social worker replied, "she most certainly does have a brother!". Pippa went on to say that we didn't have her brother, to which the social worker replied, "yes you do!". It turned out that a baby boy had arrived at TLC early in December, but no one had made TLC aware that he was in fact Pamela's brother. . .
That new little 7 week old baby boy in the nest, Samuel, was in fact my Pamela's baby brother!
As you might imagine I was speechless, stunned, all I could say over and over again was "Wow, Wow, Wow". . over the next few weeks, a few sleepless nights, and many, many prayers I decided there was no way Samuel could be split from his big sister and I began to make peace with the fact that my family would include not just 2 but 3 amazing children.
And that is the short version of how Musa came to be. . .When he arrived at TLC they named him Samuel, never knowing he was Pamela's baby brother. At the same time I was in Canada secretly longing for a little baby to love - One of the meanings of Samuel is "heart's desire". Looking back I marvel at God's hand in bringing together me and my son Musa.
The name given to him by his bio mother was Musawenkosi - which in Zulu means" the grace and mercy of God". I decided to keep Musa as his first name but to add Samuel as his second name. . .I also had two very special "uncles" in my life called John, and so decided his third name would be John.
And so, yesterday my Musawenkosi Samuel John turned 5 years old - 5 years later and this little boy is so deeply a part of my heart that I can't imagine my life back before he was part of it.
Musa - 4 months old (Be still my heart)
Big sister Pamela knows just what Musa loves to play with
Musa is all about everything Elephant
Now he can be one
He went on a treasure hunt to find this present
What a smile when he found it!
Thanks to a dear friend - Anne
Musa had a special non-dairy birthday cake
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you. . .
Musa plus a little extra help had all 5 candles out in one blow
With special non-dairy cake, and non-dairy custard
We had one HAPPY birthday boy!
Of course, Mr carbon copy, Nicholas has to be exactly like his super cool big brother Musa
So here is another super HAPPY little brother eating cake and custard
I love my newish tradition of asking my kids 20 questions every birthday.
To watch as they grow and change is so fun!
Here is 5 year old Musa's favourite things. . .
20 questions to ask on Musa'a 5th Birthday
1. What is your favorite color? Blue
2. What is your favorite toy? Racing Car
3. What is your favorite fruit? Apple
4. What is your favorite tv show? Barney
5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Burgers
6. What is your favorite outfit? Elephants
7. What is your favorite game? Cars
8. What is your favorite snack? Banana
9. What is your favorite animal? Elephant
10. What is your favorite song? I love you
11. What is your favorite book? The lost sheep
12. Who is your best friend? Michael
13. What is your favorite special treat? Pizza
14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Ride bikes
15. What is your favorite drink? Milk
16. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas
17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? Sheepy
18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Cream of wheat
19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday? Make my own pizza
20. What do you want to be when you grow up? A Police Man
To make an already special day even more special - my children were part of a wedding in the afternoon of Musa's birthday day.
This family has been a huge part of my life ever since I moved here in 2007.
Their daughter Kelly was getting married,
and my boys were blessed to be ring bearers, and my girls flower girls. . .
To top it off, it was a Scottish wedding which meant. . .you guessed it kilts!
Get ready for a cuteness overload!
Are you ready?
Princess Pamela
Princess Sihle
Prince Musa
Prince Nicholas
My supper handsome sons!
How am I so blessed to call these 4 my own?!
The flower girls
More pictures Mommy?
Ok, ok - the last one - I promise!
During the speeches Kelly thanked everyone who had helped make the wedding possible.
She then asked Musa to come up, and announced that it was his birthday.
Everyone then sang happy birthday, and he was given a present and this stunning cake.
Musa is Lightning McQueen crazy! So this cake put SUCH a smile on his little face.
Thank you Kelly for making my little man feel so loved and special. . .
It was such a beautiful, relaxed, artistic wedding.
The children had such fun, and loved all the attention they received.
As we were driving home I asked Sihle,
who was the only one still awake how she enjoyed the evening.
She replied - I felt like a princess the whole night!
Isn't this what we as parents wish for our children. . .
That they feel special - like princesses and princes!
Until next time,
blessings from Africa
